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When people ask how you are doing, how often do you answer “Busy”? “Too Busy”? Or even “Crazy Busy”? If you are busy doing what matters most to you, then this can be a good thing. It is a good rhythm of life. But if being busy keeps you from what matters most, or makes you stressed, angry, resentful, depressed, or even unhealthy, then being busy is a problem. It is important to let go of the clutter in your life and work towards regaining control. Each of the following five tips is important in this process.

1. Determine what matters most. You may be so busy you don’t even stop to take the time to determine what does matter most, let alone take the time to really focus on those things. Make conscious and deliberate choices, and focus your attention on what is important.

2. Accept some lack of control. Sometimes people keep busy to feel empowered or productive, or possibly to avoid loss, tragedy or pain. Life is not perfect. Bad things happen. We must understand that no one has total control over his/her life, and we should strive to accept this instability. It is ok to have bad days, but what is important is the ability to recover.

The next three tips are important in allowing you to do this.

3. Make and nurture connections. Internet, reality TV and text messaging, among other things, have caused us to become a more socially disconnected and anonymous society than ever before. This lack of a social system leads to unhappiness, low performance, and poor health (including decreased life expectancy). It is important to schedule time with family and friends regularly and to lean on them as your support system in times of need.

4. Create realistic limits. Realize you cannot do everything for everyone. Learn to say “no” and set defined limits for yourself. For example, limit yourself to only one volunteer committee at a time, only take a certain number of clients or patients at one time, do not answer calls during dinner and do not check email in the morning. Learn to delegate or to hire someone else to do those things you do not enjoy or are not good at.

5. Create systems you like and that work for you and those around you. Systems can and should be put in place for all areas of life. For example, if it is important for you to talk with your mother every week, then plan to call her every Sunday evening. Or if you wish you had more time for reading, then schedule an hour of quiet reading every Friday. Also set up systems to deal with physical clutter. When creating your systems, make sure that they work for you and those that will be affected by them.

Remember that decluttering and getting organized in all areas of life is important but is not usually the root of the matter. More often than not, clutter stems from something deeper. Taking the time to work through each of the tips above will help you to create a positive emotional environment, giving you more energy, more confidence, more hope and more time…leading to a life that is more in control, less stressed and more fulfilled.